Love Note #8: April 2025 Recap
It's been a helluva time. But, I'm still here.
You know some ‘ish has been going down if my monthly recap is coming twenty days into May. Well, I will be honest with you: these past few weeks have been grueling. They have almost felt unbearable. I have been wrapping up my semester on-campus at Syracuse University while planning a family transition to Maryland. Why are we moving? Well, for many reasons that include but are not limited to: 1) the overt racism my family faces every day in Syracuse, 2) the dearth of Black community and organizing in this area, and 3) the uncertainty of living in a place that doesn’t reflect our broader beliefs and values.
But, another primary consideration in this move is the fact that I will be having heart surgery in July. I had a major hospitalization last spring that rattled me to my core. During that time, doctors discovered a number of concerns including a dissection in my descending aorta, an issue common to people with Marfan Syndrome. Over the past year since, I have been working to condition my body for an inevitable surgery. We are moving to Maryland, in part, because some of the greatest surgeons in the world are there. And, while I am afraid, anxious, and nervous about what is to come, I am confident that these doctors will take the best care of me.
More than anything, each day, I feel myself reflecting on the fact that, despite the state of the world and its desire to kill me, I am still here. I keep thinking about the poem by Lucille Clifton which says, “come celebrate with me that everyday something has tried to kill me and has failed.” In this moment, I have felt these words in my body nearly perpetually. I think frequently about the Black women who have long taught us that this world is always working against us, always rooted in anti-Blackness, misogynoir, and a deep resentment for Black women and children.
Obviously, these ideas are at the center of my book Black Women Taught Us: An Intimate History of Black Feminism. But, beyond that, I am deeply reflective of the ways that those lessons are manifesting right now, when the world seems to be both literally and metaphorically ablaze.
I hope you take some time to celebrate with me today. We are still here. They have not killed us. And, we are not dead.
xoxo, Dr. J
Book Notes:
In April, I had the great honor of holding a book event with my comrade, colleague, and friend, Ijeoma Oluo. We visited Estelita’s Library, a justice-focused community library, in Seattle to discuss our books. It means everything to talk about my book in spaces that deeply prioritize the radical power of reading in every moment, but especially now. The discussion was so intimate and loving. It reminded me of all the ways I have been socialized to lean into and on community when the world seems unbearable.
Thank you to all the Black folks, and my incredible readers, who came out and sat in the rain to listen to Ijeoma and me. There is something extra special about people who are so passionate about the work that they will fight weather and climate to sit in community. This is why in-person gatherings are so important. We need them to survive.
I’m so grateful that this book continues to take me to places where I belong. More to come!
Learn about future events at my website.
Writing Notes:
In April, I wrote about the expansiveness of Black love by reflecting on my own platonic marriage. Many people ask Daren and I how our relationship has lasted for so long. We are both 40 years old and have been married for 19 years. Well, the truth is: we are committed to one’s another’s spiritual, intellectual, and personal growth. Our relationship is not based on sex, romance, desire, and genitals. Those things are fleeting and can’t form the basis for healthy coupling. Instead, our relationship is rooted in friendship and a deep care for one another’s wellbeing. Read the reflection below.
A lesbian married to a man? writing on the expansiveness of lesbian life
I got married to my best friend on May 27th, 2006. We met on move-in day at the University of Southern California back in August 2002. We were both student residents on the Somerville Place floor at school, also known as the “Black Floor.” When we met, I was wearing a gray Ecko Unlimited jogging suit with gray Jordan’s. …
Event Notes:
Are you living in New Orleans? Are you going to be at the Get Free Reunion from Black Feminist Future on June 4th to 5th? If so, you might catch me out in these streets! Not only will I be moderating an important discussion between Malkia Devich Cyril, Sesali Bowen, and Ericka Huggins, I will also be hosting a book talk at the iconic Baldwin & Co. bookstore. I’ll be in conversation with my homie Sam Blakeley and there will be a performance by a NOLA artist, AJ Haynes!
There will be a book signing after the event!
When: June 3rd, 2025 at 6pm CST
Where: Baldwin & Co., 1030 Elysian Fields Ave, New Orleans, Louisiana 70117
Register for the event here.
Learn about future book events at my website.
New Podcast Announcement!
A few months ago, I announced that I would be creating a new podcast called We Published, Beloved! This podcast is focused on demystifying the publishing process for first-time Black and queer authors. The first episode dropped on May 5th featuring ebonyjanice, author of All the Black Girls Are Activists.
In this conversation, we discuss all the ways that the publishing world often tells us that our stories are not worth telling. ebonyjanice encourages Black writers to believe in their talents and always fight for their work! Tap in, beloved!
You can also listen to the podcast on Spotify, Apple, and Soundcloud.
Follow We Published, Beloved! on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads for updates.
Podcast Notes:
That Black Couple is back with season 8! This season, we have transitioned to video! In our third episode, we talk about “The Black Legacy Model” and how Black people can build equitable, interdependent relationships with one another that reject white supremacy and heteronormative gender roles. We emphasize the importance of building the relationship/s that works for those involved, not one that pleases people in the broader society.
Tap in to our new format!
You can still catch the podcast on Spotify, Apple Music, and Soundcloud!
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